My Therapists Are Characters from a 1990s Sitcom

If I don't write about F.R.I.E.N.D.S. on my blog, am I even a true fan of the show? F.R.I.E.N.D.S. is to me what Star Wars is to Ted Mosby in How I Met Your Mother. I watch it when I'm sad, happy, sick, or healthy. I watch it when I'm at the top of my game and when I'm as depressed as Chandler Bing is on every Thanksgiving Day.  

I have probably memorized or can at least paraphrase 95% of the lines of each character on each episode. I think I can ace any F.R.I.E.N.D.S. trivia quiz, even the famous who-knows-who-better dare/game that Ross Geller so skillfully created. (I mean thanks to the show's writers for that.)

WARNING: There are spoilers below. 

The Hopeless, Awkward, and Desperate Friend

Among the six friends, my favorite is Chandler Bing. I love his humor, his sarcasm, his awkward personality that tends to screw things up all the time, and his underrated good looks (obviously overpowered by Joey's). I absolutely love how his character and maturity in relationships evolved in the later seasons.

I think I'm also attracted to his easygoing intelligence, much like the opposite of Ross's. Chandler is smart, but it's not intimidating because he's very nonchalant about it. His focus, of course, is always on his humor. To Chandler Bing fans, I think the most prominent thing about him is his socially awkward tendencies. He just doesn't know how to act around people, especially women, hence his popular line that so many hopeless romantics find relatable: "I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love!"

I think in the final season he turned out to be the one with the most significant character development. I wouldn't discount Rachel Green's metamorphic journey, but my opinion on Chandler's character development is based on how unactualized his personality was up until he found true love and he started to become a stand-up guy. I love how even then the writers didn't make him like the perfect partner; he was still awkward at his core but definitely more self-aware and more empathetic.

Princess Consuela Banana-Hammock

My second favorite is Phoebe Buffay. I'm pretty sure she's a popular choice among many fans of the show. In reality, most of the reasons why I love her are the same as everybody else's in the fandom. She's the oddball, the perfect mix of weird and genuine, the wild card, the one whom Rachel referred to as "somewhat of a question mark."

But if I can analyze her character on a more spiritual level, I think what's so attractive about her is how she makes people question things for their own good (though she can be petty at times too). She challenges norms and convention and lives life on her own terms. Her most invaluable trait is being emotionally stable, which none of the other friends can do as effortlessly. She's self-sufficient and it's probably because she's had a difficult life growing up. Another one of her best assets is her ability to hold firmly onto important beliefs that make sense (except that one time where she worked at a big massage corporation with all these employee benefits and that other time she wore the fur coat heirloom that looked good on her which she ended up leaving on the street because she thought a squirrel was following her to remind her of her moral stance on wearing fur).

If you're the type who wants to have a people-pleaser friend, stay away from the likes of Phoebe. She tells the truth even if she knows very well it's gonna hurt. She doesn't sugarcoat hard truths (well, except for Joey because she has a soft spot for him). But at the end of the day, she's there to comfort her friends and make them feel better after dropping the bomb on them.

Siblings in a Parallel Universe

I think it’s funny that the two friends I like the most are the ones who don’t always get along. I mean deep down they love each other, but it seems Phoebe is rather short with Chandler’s sarcastic humor. But that’s why I love them: Phoebe having mood swings with Chandler and Chandler pushing Phoebe’s buttons is like the brother-sister relationship I never had. And it is why I disagree with Abed in the show Community when he said Phoebe and Chandler don’t have a lot of stories together. Having watched the show more than is probably legally allowed (LOL), I can say they do have a lot of stories – and pretty remarkable ones at that.  

Which Friend Are You?

If you’ve seen the show or know a little bit about the six main characters, do you think you have any similarities with any of them? Although I won’t discuss the other friends in detail, I do love all of them in different ways. Maybe not equally but just enough that I appreciate the beauty of each character and how they complement one another. All of them have contributed to my happy days and the times my heavy heart is comforted. Sometimes I get motivation from Monica when I need to get up and clean the house and regain my sense of responsibility, or from Ross when I need a reminder that true love is worth every hurdle, or from Joey when I’m afraid of commitment to friends and other non-romantic relationships, or from Rachel when I miss being an independent career woman with a lot of love to give.  

I feel like in another world I'd be friends with an actual group of six people who are exactly like them. Maybe five people so I'd be the sixth. After I watched F.R.I.E.N.D.S.: The Reunion, I felt like someone who missed characters of a show who became a part of their healing journey. I echo what Michael Kelso said on an episode in That '70s Show where he got lost and went to the Lost & Found center, hoping his friends would find him there. He was talking to the Sprouse twins, who were also cast on F.R.I.E.N.D.S. as Ross Geller's son Ben. Kelso said to them, "I miss my friends." 

It’s so therapeutic to me that when I’m losing my sh!t and my husband is terribly concerned, he automatically suggests I re-watch episodes or fan-made compilations of the show. Sometimes he just says, "Let's watch Chandler Bing" because he knows that dude Matthew Perry makes me ROFL. 

For the record, I swear I have friends in real life. (*wink*) Sometimes I just need my F.R.I.E.N.D.S. fix to remind myself of brighter days.